So right now I am watching the Anderson Cooper show. Now I have never seen this show before but apparently it airs right after TMZ. (yesiliketowatchtmz) Todays episode of Anderson Cooper is about Purity Balls. Now the whole notion of a Purity Ball, is that the daughter pledges their virginity to their fathers. This means that their father is the "care taker" of their daughters virginity. I personally don't agree with the whole "Purity Ball and pledge". I do congratulate the women that do decide to wait until they are married to loose their virginity. A commitment like that is a great and good one. But what I don't really agree on is that they have to pledge this to their fathers. I mean if a girl wants to stay "pure" until marriage it should be a decision made by them. If these young women want to wait, good, but it should not be proclaimed to their father and make sure he becomes the "care taker" of their purity.
Yes I do believe that fathers should be involved in all their children's lives. I am so blessed to say that I have a good relationship with my father and that I can talk to him when ever I need a lending ear. But these Purity Balls are portraying the role of fathers in a sexist way. The Father must take care of his daughters virginity, why can't their mother do this. I mean don't you think the mother would have an advantage to help their daughter defeat temptation. As it was said on the show, these types of thoughts and rituals only enforce the stereotypical gender norms. And what about the men? Why must women pledge to stay a virgin or "pure", but what happens to these young men that these women are saving themselves for?
According to Jessica Valenti, author of The Purity Myth, men have a somewhat similar ceremony. They are called "Integrity Balls". Now here in these integrity balls, they pledge to not "defile the future wife of some other man, or take the purity of a mans daughter." It goes back to the idea, that the women needs to be pure to have some sort of value. I mean why can't the men pledge to stay a virgin for the purity of their souls or what not. Why do they have to pledge to not lessen the value of a women?
This whole show actually made me think of the whole sex, virginity, purity ordeal. I mean sex, is fine if you are responsible and you do it with someone you really do care and love. I mean be smart about it if you are going to have sex. Use protection, because you don't want to contract some kind of STD or an unexpected pregnancy. Sex should be something intimate between someone you love, an expression of what you feel for that other person . But I do think that people that have sex with anyone and carelessly isn't a good thing. Sex is a big responsibility and should be regarded as that. If someone wants to stay a virgin until marriage, then I hope they are doing it for themselves and not for some type of religious or fatherly commitment. It should be for themselves and the respect they have for their own bodies.
And I end my rant on Purity Balls here :)
